Resorting again to advice columns for material. In “Ask Carolyn,” a reader with three children including a son with ADHD who has threatened violence is miffed that her pregnant sister has not chosen her to be the guardian of her forthcoming child. The sister has continued to agree to serve as the guardian for the reader’s three children. The reader believes that her sister is judging her parenting skills even though “every single day is a struggle for her due to her son.”

A few poignant and sad points:

1. The pregnant sister has two likely concerns about the reader – the ability of her sister to handle another child when “every single day is a struggle” and the possibility of physical harm to her child from his cousin.

2. I always advise my clients to discuss guardianship with the potential guardians. I do not advise telling someone that they are not the guardian because of the possibility of unnecessarily bruised feelings for a scenario that might never arise.

3. There is a never right answer on the guardianship question – there is merely a best answer or least worse answer. No one will raise your child the same way you would (nor will someone clean your house like you or cut your grass the way you would), but you have to settle for the best option considering all factors such as location, parenting style, educational beliefs, and demographics. Not having a child raised by a family with a potentially violent child who causes his mother to struggle every day is an easy decision to make.

4. I love people who think about estate planning while they are pregnant.

Photo Credit:  Nick Galifianakis/For The Washington Post

License:  Fair Use/Education